Post by malevolentsnow on Apr 2, 2016 19:03:17 GMT -5
Day one,
Made the stupid decision of attempting to organize the hats up top. For the love of God, I swear no one on this earth needs that many straw hats. Not even those bloody stereotypical farmers. But I digress. Ahem.
Lifting those hats was a huge mistake, as a massive cloud of dust erupted from the bin and was inevitably inhaled. It was blown out in a ragged cough (no it was not a cute little titter where I'd blush and shyly cover my mouth) which quickly turned into painful hacking. I heard a "quiet backstage!" and tried to stifle it. I swear a puff of dust slipped though my lips, much the way a cloud of smoke would escape within a wrathful dragons breath.
Day like five, or something,
Still haven't scared or intimidated anyone. At least not that I've noticed and if I don't notice, I don't particularly care. Not that I'd change if I was scaring people. (Note: keep an eye out for people hiding in locked rooms or wearing an excessive amount of camo clothing)
Day six I think,
Accidentally inhaled more dust from the straw hats. I worry they are trying to kill me from the inside out. They appear to be becoming more aggressive, perhaps due to their forced relocation. (Note: be wary of undamaged hats)
Day something,
Found a dead wolf spider at the bottom of a straw hats bin. Worried this could be their way of a threat.
Some other day, I found baseball caps in the same bin as the straw hats. It appears they've made some sort of sick truce. Need to pay special attention to the miscellaneous hats. The straw hats show uncanny skill in manipulation.
Day over nine thousand,
The hats made their first move today. They shot a massive cloud of dust in my face when I tried to move what I assume is their leader. I can only guess what their intention was, but was temporarily blinded and was unable to breathe. Even as I write this by candlelight I still feel the dust teasingly tickling my throat. I've tried to cough it out, but only seems to cause additional irritation. (Note: dust is irritating to all senses)
Later... Upon thinking of dust composition, I remembered that dust is approximately seventy percent human skin. Not only am I no longer vegetarian, but I am also a cannibal...
No one cares what day it is, I decided that I must take action in order to rid myself of these pests. I carry only a pair of scissors, this journal, and a lighter in case of emergency. I fear this may be my final entry...
Later... I sit terrified, hidden in the Shakespearean dresses. The hats were prepared and I was no match. To whomever finds this journal, I send you my prayers that perhaps you will escape!
There is a story behind the creation of this story. I am aware it is ridiculous. It is meant to be over dramatic. This story began as a homework assignment. I'm part of the drama/theatre program at school as part of the stage crew. We had to write something we learned in drama that day. I learned about messy straw hats. Some people called me scary and intimidating. They are a bunch of cowards. One of my jobs is cleaning up other peaople's crap. One day I decided to try and organize the straw hats everywhere. It did not end well. All of the story is true, it is merely dramatized. (Minus how I thought they were trying to kill me and how I hid from them)
This is a dumb piece of writing, but I want to be a better writer. So basically I'm telling you all to roast this thing as much as possible. Thanks for the read.
Made the stupid decision of attempting to organize the hats up top. For the love of God, I swear no one on this earth needs that many straw hats. Not even those bloody stereotypical farmers. But I digress. Ahem.
Lifting those hats was a huge mistake, as a massive cloud of dust erupted from the bin and was inevitably inhaled. It was blown out in a ragged cough (no it was not a cute little titter where I'd blush and shyly cover my mouth) which quickly turned into painful hacking. I heard a "quiet backstage!" and tried to stifle it. I swear a puff of dust slipped though my lips, much the way a cloud of smoke would escape within a wrathful dragons breath.
Day like five, or something,
Still haven't scared or intimidated anyone. At least not that I've noticed and if I don't notice, I don't particularly care. Not that I'd change if I was scaring people. (Note: keep an eye out for people hiding in locked rooms or wearing an excessive amount of camo clothing)
Day six I think,
Accidentally inhaled more dust from the straw hats. I worry they are trying to kill me from the inside out. They appear to be becoming more aggressive, perhaps due to their forced relocation. (Note: be wary of undamaged hats)
Day something,
Found a dead wolf spider at the bottom of a straw hats bin. Worried this could be their way of a threat.
Some other day, I found baseball caps in the same bin as the straw hats. It appears they've made some sort of sick truce. Need to pay special attention to the miscellaneous hats. The straw hats show uncanny skill in manipulation.
Day over nine thousand,
The hats made their first move today. They shot a massive cloud of dust in my face when I tried to move what I assume is their leader. I can only guess what their intention was, but was temporarily blinded and was unable to breathe. Even as I write this by candlelight I still feel the dust teasingly tickling my throat. I've tried to cough it out, but only seems to cause additional irritation. (Note: dust is irritating to all senses)
Later... Upon thinking of dust composition, I remembered that dust is approximately seventy percent human skin. Not only am I no longer vegetarian, but I am also a cannibal...
No one cares what day it is, I decided that I must take action in order to rid myself of these pests. I carry only a pair of scissors, this journal, and a lighter in case of emergency. I fear this may be my final entry...
Later... I sit terrified, hidden in the Shakespearean dresses. The hats were prepared and I was no match. To whomever finds this journal, I send you my prayers that perhaps you will escape!
There is a story behind the creation of this story. I am aware it is ridiculous. It is meant to be over dramatic. This story began as a homework assignment. I'm part of the drama/theatre program at school as part of the stage crew. We had to write something we learned in drama that day. I learned about messy straw hats. Some people called me scary and intimidating. They are a bunch of cowards. One of my jobs is cleaning up other peaople's crap. One day I decided to try and organize the straw hats everywhere. It did not end well. All of the story is true, it is merely dramatized. (Minus how I thought they were trying to kill me and how I hid from them)
This is a dumb piece of writing, but I want to be a better writer. So basically I'm telling you all to roast this thing as much as possible. Thanks for the read.